Autism is a Disability

So damn often when I'm around non-autistic folks, or allistics, I mention my autism as it pertains to my inability to do something, or even if I mention it as an explanation for a quirk, & so often I'm met with "oh but you're so well adjusted/doing so well/high functioning! Which, I get they mean well, but It makes me unreasonably angry. Especially that last one. You don't know me well enough to determine how "well" I "function" especially if you've never seen me meltdown. I'm masking around you! Because I know you can't handle the maximum power of my autism.

"High functioning" is such an outdated term anyway. It puts us in a conveluted tier system. Some could say I'm low support needs, but that does not mean I need no support. Besides, autistic folks aren't a monolith!

I have spent almost three decades on this bitch of an earth learning how it works from scratch, along with figuring out my own damn brain. I know myself better than any of these people. I have been diagnosed two separate times in my life, both while young. Yet I've been kept in the dark about its symptoms for most of my childhood because my parents didn't want me "using it as an excuse/crutch" or whatever. Because of this, I have spent the last 8 years advocating for myself.
Learning my limits. Looking inward at what triggers my meltdowns. Making accomidations.

Doing the work to take care of myself, because others wouldn't.

I grew up being told I have "Aspergers" as if it was better than those "other" autistic folks. The ones that could barely speak. The ones that need constant care. I was "one of the good ones" before I could even fucking read. But I know that's a slippery slope. Because as soon as I show symptoms of my actual disability, I'm told "it's not an excuse" or something along those lines. Called a bitch by my own family because I'm overstimulated.

On top of that, later I find out that the bastard that defined Aspergers was a literal nazi. His term has been rightfully stricken from being a diagnosis. Not only has the term become a weapon to be used against me in my low points, but it was created by someone that used his twisted view of who should live in polite society (or in general) to warp his diagnostic criteria. It puts such a sour taste in my mouth to hear it ever since. Like saying "the nazis would have spared me!" like some kind of sick flex. It's disgusting. Do not call me an "Aspie" ever again.
Especially with the rise of fascism in recent times. Especially in my country.

Ok this blog post was uh. A little heavy for the first one ever. But the intensity of each post will vary. I just had this on my mind for a while. Ooh, maybe I'll make a system on the blog homepage where I indicate the intensity of each blog post? Perhaps a little emoticon or image, perhaps color coding... Okay now I got the juices flowing.

Whether I get around to doing that today or not is a coin flip honestly. The temperature today is like 76 degrees Farenheit with 66% humidity. I have two fans going at full blast. Even if I myself survive, I don't wanna push my computer too far.