Aromanticism

I want an answer that doesn't imply romance is more intense, or that ties romance with sexual attraction or monogamy.
I feel intense platonic love, and definitely horny for folks. And of course, polyamory exists. So those answers wouldn't be accurate.

I think a big reason I view romance so cautiously when it pertains to me, other than my past relationship, is because of the household I grew up in. The parents were never a bastion of love. Divorce was rampant from a young age. I lost count the spouses my mom had.

So I turn to fiction. Of course I know what romance is! I roleplay it with my characters all the time! They're loving on people and are filled with desire and fondness. I know what it should feel like because I've read and written countless stories on the subject.

Now, there's been plenty of times where I thought I had a romantic crush. But every time it was a real person, it turned out to be purely aesthetic. I just wanted to draw them. Feelings are often hard to tell apart, after all. Especially when you're young.
Besides, growing up, I just thought you keep crushes to yourself. I didn't need the extra embarrassment.

So as I grew, I stopped having crushes on real people. Sure I get sexual attraction when I see a hot butch, but romantic? I don't know that person! Plus, I'm in the online age of parasocial relationships. I don't wanna get like that. I've learned to not get crushes on people I don't know early on.

So I think I'm demiromantic.

I gotta get used to the person before I really get into them. At least, that's my working theory as of the 29th of December, 2025.

I keep worrying though, what if I get super close to somebody, thinking I could be romantic, then we hit a wall? Did I lead the person on? I wanna be transparent with this stuff.

I also keep thinking:

Like, using the split-attraction model, clearly one can have sex without the romance. So that's off the table.

Marriage? Cuddling? Kissing? All things you can do with your homies if you're so inclined. I cuddle my friends as much as I can, as a touch starved person. Calling someone your partner? I mean, you can just do that. Pet names can also be platonic. I've seen folks call their buddies "babe" and I say "hun" all the time.

I also never liked the preformative side of romance, at least as it pertains to me.
Putting their name in your bio, updating your status... It doesn't sit right with me. I don't know why. Why would I mark myself as someone elses?

It's hard to find a definition for romance that isn't tainted by christian monogamy and wedding culture. The straights kinda ruined a lot of these things for me.

The sentiment of "I'm yours" is like; Keep the ownership play in the bedroom?

But yeah. That's my current feelings on the matter, I think.

I'm still open to romance, and recieving it seems nice. But be aware that I may not be able to keep up.

Aromantic spectrum yayyyy

This whole thing was actually written in a minecraft book while sitting at a farm for drops. We just built a library and wanted to fill it with written books. Before I knew it, I wrote this. So I decided to export the book into a blog post.

It was on a modded Cobblemon server with my friend kayninemutt. His site is still in the early stages, but he has a blog started at least.